Born 10.14am on the 26th January 2007 weighing 8lbs 1oz his eyes were blue for a long time but when he passed away on the 6th December 2007 at just 10 Months old is eyes were brown. Jamie lived with me, his Daddy Gary and his beautiful big sister Jessica who is 5 years old. We have three fish but Jamie loved to look at the cat which lived over the road from our house. He didn’t like it coming near him he just liked to look out for him in. In the morning when we were all ready we used to go in Jamies room and look for the cat. I’m sure he was beginning to say the word cat! Jessica and I still go in Jamies room and look for the cat now and tell Jamie when the cat is there. Our perfect family came crashing down on the morning or 6th December 2007. Gary woke me up, saying. Pamela I have felt Jamie and he is cold but he has the blankets on him. I jumped out of bed, is he ok? I said. I put my hand on his back to feel for movement but nothing, I picked him up and knew at that instant our baby had gone. The screaming, must of woke Jessica, Gary was on the phone to the ambulance, I’m cradling Jamie, screaming, crying but told Jessica not to worry, go downstairs and watch the TV. Gary tried to resuscitate Jamie with the help from the lady on the phone. The ambulance arrived, they ran upstairs and whisked Jamie away, and I followed, barefoot and bewildered. I knew he was gone yet there was still hope, wasnt there? but it wasn’t to be. We don’t know the cause of death we have to wait for an inquest. I found comfort being with Jamie at the chapel of rest and the funeral was as beautiful as it could be but I still feel like it hasn’t happened. I still think I am going to go in his room and find him lying there. Jamie was the most gorgeous beautiful boy, when he smiled his eyes lit up. When he laughed you laughed. He was so happy; he loved his feet and wanted to stand up all the time. He was sitting up at 6 months, crawling at 7 and pulling himself up on the furniture around 8-9 months. My daughter walked at 10 months and I reckon Jamie would have walked around the same time. He loved his food, no jar food was good enough, he loved proper cooking. I was preparing meals and freezing them all the time. He loved his fruit, his raisins and of course Wotsits and Milky Bar Buttons. We would always sing Row Row Row your boat to Jamie he loved it. Jessica would sing you are my sunshine my only sunshine to him when I tried to get him to sleep. We played a recording of Jessica singing this at Jamies funeral it was beautiful. Jamie loved painting, sticking and anything messy. He loved Bath time, especially when Jessica joined in. They used to make so much mess but it was lovely to see. I would say Jamie loved his musical toys the best. He loved banging his cymbals, his tambourine and waving his maracas. He also loved to play on Jessicas keyboard. How I wish I could hear that now. He loved playing chase, holding onto my hands whilst we chased Jessica in and out of the living room. Jamie will always be apart of us, we will never ever forget him. In the short time he was here he brought so much joy to us all. Everybody commented on how beautiful he was and how placid he was. I feel like a part of me has gone with him, I refuse to let people forget him; I need people to remember the joy he brought to their lives. He brought so much to mine and I will love him for that forever and ever. Gone are the days we used to share But in our hearts your always there! Torn - by your heartbroken Mummy I’ve woken up this morning How, I just don’t know My head hurt so much last night And I wasn’t scared to go Because I know you’re waiting for me For a cuddle, it’s been so long And although I know I’m needed here It’s with you Im sure I belong You’re on your own how can that be so It’s just unfair it’s cruel, I can’t let you go How can I carry on without you here? I just want to feel my Jamie near Jessica is great so is your daddy too They miss you heaps just like I do I don’t know what will happen now I just need to be with you, I just don’t know how It’s selfish to think of coming to you Wrong someone said it would be And that I wouldn’t be with you In Limbo forever id be I love your daddy he is the one I love your sister she is my sun I love you too you are my star I just wish that heaven wasn’t so far My head is a mess; I don’t know what to think One minute I want to die, my life on the brink But Jessica and Gary I need them too But then I feel guilty because so do you I long to see Jessica live her life To experience the world her dreams she’ll achieve To leave school, get a job and fall in love To have fun, have children, her I also can’t leave Can you see why I’m torn, what should I do? Please talk to me Jamie, I need you too Tell me it’s ok your at my side And forever you’ll remain until I’ve died Love mummy